Getting What I Deserve

I don’t usually like to blog about boys, but if a publisher takes pity on me in the next 6-8 months, a whole book is gonna be out there about me and boys, so one random post now can’t hurt…

Back in January, a friend at church asked how I felt about being set up. I told her that I don’t mind it, but it rarely has worked out for me. She passed along my email address to a friend of hers, and for a whopping three days, we traded emails.

And then he disappeared.

I reread the last email I sent him, parsing it out for some clue as to why he would just fall off the map. But it was a pretty benign email. Don’t get me wrong–I can bring the crazy with the best of them–but I was purposely revealing only surface information about me. Sports. Movies. Teaching. Light subjects, subjects that still allow someone to get to know me but don’t give away too much.

I heard from him again tonight.

He explained why he disappeared, and it’s really not important, other than to say this: if he had just told me his reason back in January, I would have understood. I would have wished him well. And maybe, if he had been up front with me then, I’d be a little open to continuing a dialogue. But to come back after two months, and let me know, and want to “pick up where we left off”? Yeah….

Because in my old age, my list of what I want in a companion has changed remarkably from what it was 20 years ago. And on that list is forthrightness. Honesty. Giving me the benefit of the doubt that I’m not unreasonable–in fact, I’m pretty understanding.

He doesn’t meet that criteria. So I’ll kindly tell him, “Thanks, but no thanks,” and not panic into thinking he’s the Great White Hope, and just wait for what I deserve.

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