Year-End Reflection

Every three years, I am evaluated by an administrator. Part of this evaluation involves setting a professional growth goal, and then reflecting on meeting that goal at the end of the year. I set a goal to become Adobe Certified in Adobe Illustrator. Here is an edited version of my reflection I turned in to my administrator. After I wrote it, I sent it to Stueve, who said it was damn good writing and I should post it on my blog. I thought Teacher Appreciation Week was good timing for that.

Well, what a year.

We started the school year with technology problems on a scale I’d not seen in all my years at BPS. It took me most of first semester to realize that if I was going to get anything done during my plan time, I needed to hide, because fixing tech issues as Building Tech Coordinator was seeping into my plan time, which made just the daily work of teaching more difficult, let alone setting aside time to do Illustrator tutorials. But I did complete the first of three training modules 1st semester and vowed to set better boundaries 2nd semester.

And then my colleague Mr. Stueve got sick.

For most teachers in the building, a sick colleague would have minimal impact on daily life. But over the past eight years, Stueve and I have created a program that can only be sustained in its present form with two teachers. Suddenly I found myself needing to manage basketball broadcasts, check out equipment, help editors of two staffs occasionally make changes and improvements to content, recruit students for next year’s staffs, and at times even help students in Stueve’s introductory classes with minor technical issues. All of this, of course, happening at the same time as I’m learning all the music for the school musical and attending those rehearsals, still teaching my own classes, and producing a newspaper and website.

Oh, and there was the added mental stress of not knowing whether Stueve was going to be okay, and my own two-week bout with some kind of virus (corona? Until I get an antibody test, I’ll always wonder…) that really knocked me out at the worst possible time.

I looked at the reality in front of me, and the first thing to go was the after-school Adobe work sessions for students, which was time I planned to use for my own certification. So there was another six hours of time lost toward meeting my goal of becoming Adobe certified in Illustrator. But I figured once the musical was over and Stueve returned to school after a two-month absence, I could get back on track. No problem.

And then, COVID-19 shut down the school. And to an outsider looking in, you might say, “Well Ms. Rowse, you are single and have no kids and you have all the time in the world now to meet this goal! This is quite the opportunity for you!” And yes, that’s fair, except for a couple of problems.

First: The mental toll of being completely isolated with no one in my home was much greater than I initially calculated. It is difficult to motivate myself to complete Illustrator tutorials when I am unable to share what I learn with students or colleagues.

Second: I can’t actually take the exam, because it has to be proctored by Mr. Stueve, and he is (wisely) keeping his family in isolation, and I’m pretty much keeping to myself as well to protect my parents, in case of an emergency where I might have to go to their home and help them with something. So to complete all the tutorials now, when I’m not even sure when I’ll be able to take the exam (will we be back in August? Who knows!), would be foolish.

So this leaves me, for the first time ever, as not meeting my professional growth plan as I had envisioned. However, I know I still grew as a professional this year. Here’s how:

I took students to a national journalism conference for the first time ever and attended sessions about how to continually improve our program.

I took 3 graduate classes via Augustana College which made me reevaluate how I design all instructional materials.

I read the book “Intention: Critical Creativity in the Classroom,” which is giving me ideas for how I can improve my courses.

But most important, I learned how to set clear boundaries when it became evident I had too many responsibilities simultaneously crashing in on me.

I had a good plan. In any other year, I would’ve met this goal well ahead of my self-imposed May 15 deadline. So I guess I can sum up my professional growth plan for 2019-2020 with this: I did grow as an educator, I did grow as a person, and I hope that is enough.

Football, Teaching, Burnout, and Self-Care.

I’m home with bronchitis today, and let me tell you, getting four hours of uninterrupted sleep for the first time in a week has me feeling like I can do anything. Until I start coughing again, anyway.

But since I’m home and the Tessalon perles are working as they should, I thought I might as write a little bit about Andrew Luck, because not enough people are.

That was a joke, by the way.

Anyway. My favorite coverage of Andrew Luck’s retirement has been Deadspin. This piece is what made me think that Luck’s retirement decision was radical self care, and the fallout since from fans and sports pundits has appalled me, but also not surprised me.

Here’s why. We have this mythos in American culture that working hard–almost working ourselves to death–is the best thing we can do. We wear “busy” as a badge of honor. We conflate professional success with personal happiness. And I see this in my own profession.

We get movies like “Dangerous Minds” and “Freedom Writers” and “Mr. Holland’s Opus” where teachers are celebrated for putting students first, for sacrificing their families and their personal lives to inspire and “save” students. We are told that the relationships we develop with students are the primary key to their learning (so I rather enjoyed this clarification on that idea).

Or we judge and shame teachers (and really, anyone who works) for taking time to get well when sick, or heal when hurt–physically or emotionally.

And then we wonder why we all burn out.

I know comparing an NFL quarterback and a public school teacher is a false analogy, and maybe if my mind was clearer I’d be able to make that analogy a bit more solid. But before I take another dose of medicine, two things.

  1. Andrew Luck did what was good for his mental and physical health, and while he’s in a privileged and moneyed position to do so, calling him soft or weak is really just jealousy that we can’t retire at will and build a completely new life.
  2. Teachers, as we start the beginning of the year, follow these steps when you are sick:
  • See a doctor if needed.
  • Write the sub plans.
  • Stay home.
  • Rest. For the love of all that is holy, rest.
  • Your students will be fine without you.
  • Read that last bullet point again.

A brief update

Have you seen this photo going around?

It came across my Instagram feed a couple of days ago and I saved it to one of my collections. And then I must have forgotten I’d saved it, because yesterday it appeared in my feed from a different account and I saved it again.

So I suppose this maxim spoke to me. Twice.

It’s a good reminder to me that I will come through on the other side of what I’m currently experiencing, and that perhaps I’ll be able to help someone else.


Yesterday as we filed out for a fire drill, a student said to me, “Ms. Rowse, I miss your six word stories!”

For the past two years, I’ve written a six word story for every school day. These stories force me to be present while teaching, as I look for possible stories to create. They force me to practice brevity and pointed language since I limit myself to six words. And they force me into a daily writing habit, even if it’s only six words.

But I started this school year in significant personal tumult, and while I wear a pretty good Happy Mask, it’s hard for me to see much joy, let alone create anything resembling quality writing.

But the photo above reminds me the tumult is temporary, and before long joy will start to break through.

Like the student, who on the first day of school walked into my classroom and said, “I wanted to take another class with you so I signed up for this one!” Or watching my editors teach a young newspaper staff how to be good reporters. Or getting grateful emails from colleagues.

Or a student who tells me she misses my six word stories.

So do I, kiddo. I promise I’ll start writing them again soon.

I Love Public Schools Day: Music Edition

I planned to hang this in my classroom for I Love Public Schools Day.

I’ve written here before about my high school English teacher and my high school choir teacher. These women were foundational to my career in education. But I’ve never written how public schools helped me become a musician.

The summer before my sophomore year of high school, I got a phone call from the choir teacher, Mr. Reimer. He was looking for an accompanist for the show choir.

Accompanying wasn’t what I wanted to do. I’d been down this road at church, and once I showed moderate proficiency with playing the piano, I never got to sing. But in my lapsed-logic-15-year-old brain, I thought if I played the piano for the show choir and sang in the sophomore choir, I’d have a better chance making the show choir as a singer my junior year.

Show choir music is sometimes challenging to play, and as a 15 year-old, I was often out of my element. But Mr. Reimer was encouraging and not critical when I’d miss notes. Which happened often.

We moved to Montana after my sophomore year, and though I delayed telling my new choir teacher that I could play the piano, she still made sure I accompanied the choir at least once a year. And sure, I resented it then, but what I didn’t realize at the time is that both of my high school choir teachers developed my accompanying skills, which have allowed me to earn a little extra money and continue to be a musician.

Fast forward several years: I was teaching at the high school I attended as a sophomore, and Mr. Reimer asked me to play piano for the school musical–nothing fancy, just the violin part on a synthesizer. And then he asked me to play more challenging four-hand accompaniments for his varsity choir.

When I came back from grad school, that choir teacher’s son AJ was teaching choir, and he carried on the tradition of asking me to play for the musicals and varsity choir.

Both Reimers taught me musicianship, the value that each person in a choir or an orchestra brings to every piece of music, and that participating in musical groups is fun, not stressful.

Last year I took over as principal pianist for the school musical. I constantly feel inadequate. But AJ, always the music educator, is nothing but encouraging. He never makes me feel stupid when I can’t figure out a rhythm or when a song pops up in G flat major and I keep forgetting the C flat. Instead, he teaches.

Without these opportunities to grow as an accompanist and musician, I’m not sure I would not still be playing the piano. I’m positive I wouldn’t be as good of a musician as I am. I definitely wouldn’t even consider myself a musician at all.

I’m a musician because of public schools.

Station Rotation: What Students Thought

You can read part 1 here, and part 2 here.

Today I had my students answer a few questions about how to stations went. Here’s their answers.

 

Screen Shot 2018-10-08 at 8.36.54 PMThis actually surprised me, mostly because when I’ve tried new things in the past, some students have really bristled at change.

Screen Shot 2018-10-08 at 8.47.32 PM

Well this was a nice warm fuzzy for me. But also made me realize I might need to do a little more explanation about the AP Style quizzes, and maybe tweak how they read, interact with, and discuss the example stories. I asked which stations were least helpful, and it was just about a equal split with the AP Style quiz, comma splice review, and reading feature examples.

Screen Shot 2018-10-08 at 8.50.34 PM

Sorry, 6.2% of respondents…looks like you’ll be doing stations again.

I did include a free-response, but only five people responded. They all wanted more grammar instruction via Khan Academy, so I’m glad to know that went over well.

Overall, not a bad showing. I didn’t anticipate the level of positive feedback, so I really am pretty happy with how it turned out this time. Will definitely be doing it again.

Big thanks to our district tech coordinators for providing quality professional development–something I was able to implement immediately–and thanks to our district for providing the time and the subs to allow that kind of collaboration and growth.