Valentine’s Day Movies

The Deseret News (newspaper in Salt Lake City that I can’t seem to stop reading) published a list of Valentine’s Day movies to watch. I’ve seen all of them, so here I offer you my reviews of the ten.

10. A Walk To Remember. Teen dying of cancer somehow gets town bad boy to fall in love with her. It’s Nicholas Sparks, so you know someone’s gonna die, and you are gonna cry. Great soundtrack, decent acting, but…see previous sentence. Rating: 3 of 5 broken hearts

9. Return to Me. Heart transplant recipient falls in love with the man whose wife’s heart ended up in transplant. I love this movie. Watch it for the following reasons: the four old guys kibitzing, Bonnie Hunt/James Belushi relationship. Rating: 4 of 5 broken hearts  

8. Ever After. I should probably watch this one again since the last time I saw it, I ended up making out with the guy I was watching it with. But friends of mine say that it’s a great twist on the Cinderella trope and a rather feminist retelling. Rating: One Awesome Make-out Session.

7. You’ve Got Mail. An updated “Shop Around The Corner” for the email age. Some great quotable lines, and anytime Steve Zahn makes an appearance in a film, it’s a good thing. Pro-tip: do NOT let Tom Hanks say the last line. It’s atrocious. Fun-tip: saw this movie with a guy I fell in love with mostly over AOL Instant Messaging and email. We were dating by the time this film was released, and I loved that he took me to see it. Rating: 4 of 5 broken hearts

6. While You Were Sleeping. Any movie that can make Bill Pullman seem sexy as an Everyman (when he’s POTUS and flies a plane to fight alien invasions, of COURSE he’s gonna be sexy) is a hit. Also incredibly quotable, funny, lovely…I never get sick of this one. Rating: 5 of 5 broken hearts

5. Sleepless in Seattle. If anything gave me unrealistic expectations about destiny and love and all that crap, it’s this movie. Worth watching just for the “Dirty Dozen” scene with Tom Hanks and Victor Garber. Rating: 3 of 5 broken hearts

4. The Princess Bride. The only acceptable “twu wuv” film to watch. Quotable, passed down from generation to generation, a true classic. I don’t even feel bitter about the happy ending. Rating: 5 of 5 broken hearts 

3. The Man From Snowy River. It’s been forever since I’ve seen this one, and all I remember from it is the lush soundtrack. One of my favorite pieces of sheet music. Rating: Insufficient data.

2. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. One of the most misogynistic musicals ever written, ever. I had a friend whose mother so worried about possible inferred messages of this show that she forbade her daughters to ever watch it. Rating: 1 of 5 broken hearts

1. Casablanca. A desert island movie. So much part of the American popular culture landscape that when I show it to my students ever semester, they know the famous lines even though they’ve never seen the movie. Love the sweeping drama of the story, the cinematography, the acting…and wow is Humphrey Bogart ever so staggeringly handsome. Rating: 5 of 5 broken hearts

So if you didn’t have any plans for Valentine’s Day week, perhaps one of these movies fits the bill for you.

And if not, you could always watch Die Hard. I hear it’s the best Christmas movie ever.