November, Again.

How is it already November?

Time has simultaneously moved at a glacial and white-water-rapids pace. I will never understand how both feel possible.

This dichotomous passage of time fills me with both relief and dread–relief that the current problems I face can’t be my problems forever; dread that the pieces of my life I love the most right now are just as fleeting.

I’ve used past Novembers to write daily–some years it was writing a book or two, some years it was writing here about things I was grateful for. As someone who craves tradition I feel the familiar pull to write every day in November. As someone who craves change, I need to write something different.

So this November, I plan to write lists.

Lists of films, music, worst teaching moments, best teaching moments, fascinating ancestors, lies depression tells me and so on. Lists of things that have led me to the being I am right now, this moment, November 2018.

I have a list (a list of lists!) with 26 topics. It might change over the next 30 days. We will see. It’s a place to start. Why only 26 topics? Because every Wednesday I plan a return to the movie project. 

So if all goes according to plan (and I think long-time readers of the blog know that’s rarely the care), you’ll have a new list to read every day. Maybe it will inspire you to make your own lists, to reflect on the tiny building blocks that created who you are right now, this moment.

I kinda hope it does.

My Coding Adventure: An Update

I didn’t have a chance to watch a movie over the weekend, but I like having a post up every Wednesday, so this week, you get an update on my Google Scholarship.

TL;DR: I quit. Kind of.

Here’s the full-length story.

I spent so much time this summer trying to make minor progress on this course, and just fell further and further behind. Then school started, and I realized I’d spent so much time coding, I had literally nothing ready for school. Typically, prior to the first day with students, I have all four classes planned out for an entire semester. This year, I had the first four days planned.

And once I got back into the school routine and remembered how exhausting it is, and then catching the virus that will not die (I’m still hacking up a lung at least twice a day), I just couldn’t bring myself to spend time or energy trying to program an arcade game (the next project in the course).

So I notified the program director that it was time for me to bow out. I told her I was grateful for the opportunity, and that I learned so much–including how I want to proceed with my coding education–but it was time to leave.

And rather than bouncing me from the program, she looked at my coursework. She said I’d made good progress. She said she didn’t want me to give up, and offered to hook me up with a peer tutor, so I could try and at least get the third project done.

I sat on her message for a week.

Then Sunday, I decided it was time to respond.

“Thank you for your message, and while I appreciate the opportunity…”

And I couldn’t finish the sentence. I couldn’t fully quit.

So I deleted the last phrase, and instead told her I would start up again the week of September 24 and see how much I could get done in the last month. She wrote back that she was so glad I made that choice, and at some point next week, I will meet with a tutor for 30 minutes and hit the reset button. Or maybe code a reset button. Who knows.

I’m not entirely convinced I made the right choice, but it’s only a month, and then I can reassess at the end of October what my next move is.