What Hallmark Channel is Selling Me.

I’ve been watching a lot of Hallmark Christmas movies, and here’s what I’m being sold* while watching:

1. A magical eyebrow shaper.
2. Nordic Track/Bowflex/Peleton.
3. Wayfair. All the time, Wayfair.
4. Life Alert bracelets.
5. Balsam Hill Christmas trees (which, by the way, can run up to $1,000).

*In addition to the science-fiction fantasy that Christmas is a magical romantic time where all my dreams come true.