If ever there was a week where I experienced every possible emotion, this one was it. Anger, sadness, grief, shame, helplessness, guilt, panic, and joy.
I sat in front of my laptop on three different occasions and tried to write, and nothing happened. Well, that’s not entirely true. I wrote drafts of things that would make Anne Lamott proud, based solely on the fact that I was indeed writing. But nothing I wrote was truly publishable.
I wish I could be less circumspect about the gamut of emotions I felt this week, but sometimes the demands of the job include not saying a whole lot.
Wednesday night, as I tossed and turned and couldn’t sleep for all the anger and grief I was feeling, I saw this on Twitter. I didn’t know when it would be public, but there it was, all official.
So Thursday morning I posted the link on Facebook, and it didn’t take long for me to feel another emotion: humbled. I was floored by how many people reacted, and how they reacted. I tried to allow myself to just bask in the love and support of friends and family. That’s not always easy for me to do.
I’ve been writing this post in pieces over four hours’ time. I still don’t quite have my writing wits about me. But I didn’t want the blog to sit empty for much longer, especially on a week when it felt like everything was totally wrong with the world.
Because I could find at least one thing that was totally right.