Why I’m Not Married, Part III

According to the report, 14% of the men surveyed want their wives to be homemakers, as opposed to only 5% wishing the same for their daughters. I’m not even sure why “homemaker” is on the list, or what it means. Does that mean not working outside the home? Does it mean knowing how to get hairspray stickiness off the bathroom floor? Does it mean regularly baking a variety of cheesecakes? 

These numbers are close for both wives and daughters–men do not want either role to be breadwinners. I suppose this mentality is all about the primordial instinct above all else; since the dawn of time (or so we’ve been told) men are the providers. So I’m not surprised by this. And I suppose my ability to provide for myself is a liability for some men. But I’ve never been outright told that my job is to blame for why different men haven’t wanted to be with me. In fact, the last two men I dated said (and I believed them) that my career was impressive and they fully supported how hard I work.

I find this one most interesting, that only 2% of men want this trait in both a wife and a daughter. And I’ll admit that most of the men I’ve dated in my life wanted me to make choices. Where to eat, what movie to see, which character to be in Mortal Kombat. They also didn’t mind a good occasional sparring. And while I tend to not care where I eat, I am picky on movies. I know how to make decisions, and I’m not all that keen on being deferential.

Yes, I saved this one for last, because I am fairly certain this is reason I’m not married. Why? Because three men I’ve dated told me so. And I’d be willing to bet that if I put the screws to a couple others, they would agree. And this rankles me quite a bit because so often, men will praise every other aspect of my being…and then stop dating me anyway. So what else could it be? If all these other traits aren’t seen as negatives, then it has to be I’m just not attractive.

I don’t write that last phrase to evoke any pity–I think it’s much more a product of unrealistic cultural standards than anything else. And Amy Schumer has my back with this gem. 

All told, of those ten traits, only three are possible explanations for why I’m not married. Then again, the more likely explanation is that I’ve dated a parade of jackholes, and at the end of the day, I don’t really owe anyone an explanation anyway.

So I promise to get back to more interesting topics later this week.