Since yesterday’s post was a bit of a downer, I thought I’d share my foray into the trend of “clean eating,” as it has provided me some decent humor this week.
For reasons I won’t go into here, I decided I’d spend my two weeks off of school experimenting with this “clean eating” business. In all of my googling efforts, the best option, believe it or not, came from this Buzzfeed post.
Yes, I am taking nutritional advice from Buzzfeed. Please, judge away. Also of note, when I mentioned to my trainer that I was trying “clean eating,” he cocked his head to one side and said, “Uhhh, no.” I had to quickly explain that I wasn’t being fanatical about it and that I’d already had to supplement one meal with cottage cheese and a clementine. He rolled his eyes and said, “Just don’t be stupid with it.”
Anyway. I looked through the recipes and they all seemed easy enough, so I printed off the grocery list for Week 1 and on Saturday, I set out for my local grocery store. I realized early into my trip that substitutions would be necessary. For one, I have some dietary restrictions that made some of the recipes a little scary. For another, I didn’t think spending $200 on one week of groceries was in my best interest.
So when the grocery list calls for a pound of arugula and the grocery store only sells it in 2 oz. boxes at $2.19 a box, the only logical choice is is to substitute a bag or two of spring mix salad. (And really, a pound of arugula? A POUND?) Also, chia seeds would be a staple in at least three recipes. My grocery store sells them in an 8 oz box that is $8.99. I’m assuming these seeds have multiple powers, including giving me the ability to teleport and see the future.
Another modification: kale. the grocery list called for 3 bunches. In the summer, when kale is $.79 a bunch, sure. But at this time of year, it was $1.99 a bunch. One would have to do. Plus, have you tasted kale? They should give it away and thank their lucky stars people want to take it off their hands.
I picked up most everything on the list and rolled up to the checkout line.
“$150. Don’t be shocked if it’s $150,” I told myself.
This is a game I play when I buy groceries–I try to brace myself for the worst possible outcome. I tend to overestimate my costs by a healthy margin–one time I thought for sure I’d spent $100, when I’d really only spent $45–so I don’t faint from sticker shock. So even though I was mentally prepared for $150, a small part of my brain thought I’d probably come in around $90.
“Your total is $123.77,” the checker said.
My knees buckled and I faked a smile as I swiped my debit card. My mind raced.
Oh my gosh what did I just do I am crazy how does anyone eat like this on a regular basis and I have a $9 box of chia seeds for why?
Tune in tomorrow to discover why I have a $9 box of chia seeds.