I dread this point of the summer.
I look at the list of tasks I wanted to accomplish that I created the day after school got out, and very few of them are crossed off. That’s not to say my summer has been a disappointment–it’s been everything a summer should be, I guess. I took a couple of trips, relaxed with friends and family, saw a couple of movies, read a couple of books.
But at this point, I start to panic. I’m certain one of the reasons I’ve grown to hate my birthday so much is because once that day hits near the end of July, I know school starts soon, and I know I will never feel I have done enough preparation in the summer to be ready for what’s to come.
One of the most difficult things for me to accept in this career is knowing that I will never be 100% ready. Yes, I have great passion for my content areas, and yes, I have plenty of lesson plans and assessments to keep me afloat. But I also know how much I need to improve, and how much I can change what I do to best reach a new crop of students. That all requires research and writing–two time consuming activities that I love, but don’t always prioritize as I should.
My sister and her family leave tomorrow to spend three years in Japan, and all the work I should have done the past three weeks while she’s been here weighs on me. But I don’t regret the late nights or the afternoon shopping trips or the family dinners. Besides, the Spartan schedule I envisioned for myself back in May isn’t really my style. I’ll finish what I can in the next thirty days (or 28, or 26), and be as ready as I can be.