Today is the glorious holiday of Festivus, and if you don’t know what Festivus is, there is an entry in Wikipedia with your name on it.
Three vital elements comprise celebrating Festivus. Celebrate with me, won’t you?
1. The Airing of Grievances. Today, I just have a couple. First, people who park in handicapped parking without proper documentation and leave an able-bodied person in the car with the car running. Really? Second grievance: all the boys I’ve ever dated for not being brave enough to tell me why they were breaking up with me/never calling me again. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in education, it’s that in order to improve, we need data and feedback. Falling off the face of the earth or claiming “it’s me, not you” provides me with neither data nor feedback. Man up and tell me why.
Third grievance: Snow. I’m all for Currier and Ives, picturesque versions of Christmas, but is A FOOT of snow necessary? Mmmmm…no. Mother Nature, I just put you on notice, Colbert-style.
2. Feats of Strength. Now, since no one joined me for dinner tonight, there was no one around I could wrestle. But tonight’s Feat of Strength will be more mental: I need to clean, make cinnamon rolls, finish a Christmas gift, and pack an overnight bag all before I go to bed. Which brings me to the next celebratory event…
3. The Festivus Miracle. It will be a miracle if I complete the aforementioned Feat of Strength. But here are a couple other contenders…as I write this, Utah is leading Cal. If Utah wins, the Mountain West Conference will have won its first three bowl games. Another miracle? I got off the couch today.
So there you have it. Hope you all enjoyed a fabulous Festivus.
3 thoughts on “Happy Festivus”
Best. Post. Ever. Period.
I loved it.
and in response to the 2nd grievance….if you are going to break up with me, why continue to call me/follow me after you are married? 😉
Still funny as ever Juls.