It is 9 PM on a Friday night, and I have nothing to do.
Most of my friends are out of town or otherwise engaged. I have no papers due in the immediate future. I’m still not sure which English classes I’ll be teaching in the fall, so for now, no books I have to read.
I have nothing that absolutely, positively, must get done.
It’s a little unnerving. Okay, a lot unnerving. It’s unnerving, because when I have very little to do, I think more. And as one old boyfriend so charmingly observed, when I think without structure, I think about the past. Not anything specific, mind you. My brain randomly links events together.
For example, tonight I was driving to UPS to pick up a package that I had no idea was coming (Thanks, Jen C.!). It was overcast, twilight, and raining a little bit, an environment that usually contributes to a reflective mood. Since it’s a 30 minute trek to UPS, my trusty iPod was spitting out song after excellent song, and this one made me think about a different old boyfriend, because for some odd reason (he was NOT a fan of them), the Dixie Chicks always remind me of him. And I thought about the whole concept of taking the long way to anything, and my dad’s mantra that life is all about the journey so we should enjoy it, regardless of how long it takes to get to our destination.
And despite the brief tangent about my dad, I quickly flipped back to the boyfriend and thought about the good dates I’ve been on. Maybe because it’s Friday night, maybe because it’s been a long time since I’ve been on a good date. Maybe it’s because my iPod played this song, and as a lifelong journal-keeper, I wondered what people a hundred years from now would know about me.
They would definitely know I’ve been on PLENTY of lousy dates…including one that started with the fine suitor honking the horn from THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET (why pull into the driveway?). I can retell all the bad dates with painstaking detail and pauses for the best comic effect, but tonight it dawned on me that I’m not sure I’ve ever retold in grand and glorious fashion the dates I’ve been on that were positively wonderful.
Why is that? Well, I’m not all too interested in finding out the answer, but I plan on searching through my journals this summer and finding snippets of the good dates I’ve been on so I can flesh them out a little. It will give me something to do–instead of just thinking.